"...Um, I don't know if you've realized this yet, but there's pretty much no downhill between us."

Spencer responding to Jose's tyrant-like demand to go get him food.

"You're a fucking dude! You should piss your pants the way John Wayne would!"

Paddy J, about the dude that he helped beat up for cutting in line ahead of a woman for the bathroom on the LIRR

"Think of the spot as your penis, and think of your target at the toilet. If you miss the toilet its just a big fucking mess SO DON'T DO IT!"

Paddy J, My Way headset

"Sit and spin, Miss I-Built-It-Backwards!"

Kloos, about some 'tude from Boomer regarding a piece she built... (backwards, coincidently)

"I mean I love women - but I could never do that. I could never go down THERE."

Marcia Madeira, why she isn't a lesbian.

"Yeah... I broke out and played some jazz turkey baster."

Brenden Whiting on .. well... you just have to see it to get it.

"Everybody's Googling black spots and nutsacks!"

Patty J on his college home life.

Scene on Scene...

The fact that this does not seem wierd to those on property is the wierd part.

"I have to carry a dead woman in a casket tomorrow! What do you have to do?? Sit at a computer all day?!?!"

Jose to Spence about not wanting to go to the Chowder. Touche, Good Sir.

When Words Fail.

Yeah, that's a mullet.

"Does anyone know how to spell QUEEF?"

Jelani.

"I haven't pooed yet. I'm kinda worried."

Brian Loesch, in regards to eating KFC last night

"Make that DADDY J.!"

Patty J. on the prospect of making sweeeeeet love to Stephanie Rosenthal's mom.

"I'm not wearing any underwear"

Brendan Whiting, taking the phrase "Rock out with your cock out" toooooo literally