"He would totally play Guitar Hero on her cooter"

Sheena, speaking of Captain Jack Sparrow

"Frolicking? Stop them. Frolicking is not good. Frolicking leads to falling and then I have to take them places."

Erin Kraus-- As she watched children before the show. Quoted at the exact instant she crossed over and became a full-on company manager

"Sleep with him now - before you learn he douses himself in deer urine"

Kelly J. Tighe

"Dammit, Oksana!!!"

Pretty much everyone at some point this week.

" I wanna shove this thing up my ass JUST so I can shit it out."

Spencer on his soon-to-be-defunct cell phone.

"Put me in, Coach!"

Andy Man, upon hearing that Oksana sprained her ankle

"Looks like the neighbors just got Chowdered."

Corey, just after the police stopped by the front porch of the Chowderhouse

"...you mean singing some whiney-my-vagina-hurts-song?"

Brian Loesch in reference to someone warbling at the chowder.

"I just like blew in from the west"

Patrick Herb, referring to Oliver Opening

"Suck-my-dick-electrics-54-GO"

Dominic R.

"You're fucking kidding me. Who made this? Spencer... the video guy? Very talented..."

Oksana Baiul, response to the Act II Montage

"You'd rather be the clever fox that hides quiet in the bushes than the big angry bear that gets shot in the fucking face!"

B. Fahner regarding her recently incarcerated brother

"You know what the skaters skate on? Blades. You know what their blades are made of? Steel. You know what that is, don't you? Sand!"

Anonymously 'clever' electrician's response to Corey's warnings about crap on the ice.

"I think purgatory folks are my type of folks"

Erin Kraus

"And the Summer of Full Disclosure continues...."

KJT about not candy-coating the changeover into My Way

"I think Dennis just snake charmed me"

Brittany Fahner

"Cuntwrap? What is that? A female condom?!"

Aaron Kelley, mishearing the word "crunchwrap"

"You had to whittle on that shit, didn't you, Whore."

Andy Man to KJT about his missing finger.

"And then for the final pose of the show, we all throw up the shocker."

Keith Andrews

"Ah, my favorite figure skating move. They look over their shoulder and there's just tight ass coming right at you."

Jeff Waxman, Musical Director

"Hey Shannon, SHOCKER!"

Keith Andrews, Full Company Run Thru

I would'nt hire ME to work here!!!

PAUL ALLAN

"YOU'RE the chick with the heads on sticks"

Sheena to the new scenic artist.

"Look at me!! I have GREAT tits!"

Oksana B.

It's not ALL maple leaves and moose heads, you know...

K. Andrews

We need a cheesey wipe here...

KJT

This place is friggin vagina central right now!!!

Patty j

"20 cue lights?!!? You only have 10 fingers!"

Patty J

"Erin, go stick your head in a chimney."

Paul Allan